I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
