I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize