New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
