Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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