one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
