Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
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Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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