I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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