Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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