In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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