im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
