I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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