You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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