Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
