I smell stomach acid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
