After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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