For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He felt like a one man threesome
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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