What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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