Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
