I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
