if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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