I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
