I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
