i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
His nipple licking is glorious
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