You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
