They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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