It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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