I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
