those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
