so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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