Im at strip club and am horny
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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