when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
