everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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