how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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