idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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