margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
