You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
