is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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