but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
