make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
birth control should be required to get into college
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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