When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize