YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just cropdusted the office
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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