you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
