i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
