I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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