im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i think i just lost a toe
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
