What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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