What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
