my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
