did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize