yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize