Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
