We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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