and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There r osticjed everywhere
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
