That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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