So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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