My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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