I didn't shave. On purpose
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
a search helicopter?!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
