Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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