I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
