Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
